You know Thor right? God of thunder. Golden locks of glory. Perpetually looking for a nail? Yea, well he’s the problem with Liam Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth, you may have an awesome first name, but you’re screwing your poor baby brother royally. You dick.
I am sure Chris Hemsworth and Liam Hemsworth have a swell relationship. They probably sit around the barby, shrimps barby’ing, or however you cook food in Australia. Sharing a case of Coors light, or whatever you drink in Australia. Fighting off spiders and sharks and scorpions and killer koalas, or whatever you do for fun in Australia. But let’s face it. Chris has totally eclipsed everything Liam has done, because he is Thor, god of thunder. Liam has been in a some big movies though right? He was in Hunger Games, huge movie, although not one of the actual hungry hippos (I forget what it’s about) he was still a prominent character. But no dice Liam… Chris is Thor. Thor wins. Everything you do is horse manure (excuse my language) in comparison. Just pure shit.
There’s no beating Thor. Well, unless you’re the Hulk, right? I don’t really read comics, so I am not sure who is stronger. So what does Liam have to do to become relevant? Is there even anything he can do? Who possibly would know the secret to fixing his irrelevance, and coming back from his pure forgetful insignificance? Me. I know.
How does Liam Hemsworth become relevant?
Become a superhero, obvs. So weird that his PR department hasn’t thought of this. He should fire them and hire me; my rates aren’t very reasonable, I am very, very expensive, but it’ll be worth it, pinkie swear. The obvious answer is to become a super cool superhero that rivals Thor or at least can hold his own in the eyes of the fans. Then they will be a pair of one-two super brothers (Thanks Fighter and The Kid for the saying).
Which Superhero, though? That’s the question. All the good ones are taken right? Wrong. Comics are full of millions of unique and weird superheroes. They’re all silly. It just takes a great PR department to trick the masses into loving their chosen hero. Even a villain would work (yes I am biased towards villains). Although, being a villain is more tricky. Most movies involve the hero beating the villain, which isn’t going to work for Liam. He needs staying power. So Liam should be wary about becoming a villain, unless it’s a villain who doesn’t truly lose (think Loki, coincidentally Thor’s brother).
The superhero train is bound to run out of steam fairly soon, it’s been going like a.. well, steam train. So Liam better get on board quickly before it reaches it’s final stop (also, pretend there was a joke about Minding The Gap here. I couldn’t be bothered to think of one). If he took a leading role in a superhero movie and became a new favourite (think Deadpool or Netflix’s Daredevil) then he will be as cool as his brother. Right now, he’s letting his family down, he’s letting Australia down and quite frankly, he’s letting me down. Hit me up Liam, I’ll turn your PR nightmare into a PR dream (see what I did there?).
P.S. On a related note. Who the heck is Luke Hemsworth?