Is Hillary Clinton A Conspiracy In Progress?
04-Feb-2016

Posted by in But Seriously Though, Skinny Cardio (Lighthearted), writing

As you might know, Hillary Clinton just won the Iowa caucus. I don’t really follow American politics that closely, so I don’t actually know what a “caucus” is, and I totally snigger every time I hear the word. What I do know is that this is part of an unfolding conspiracy. Read past the break to hear how Hillary Clinton is involved.

Is Hillary Clinton A Conspiracy In Progress?

Is Hillary Clinton A Conspiracy In Progress?

Is Hillary Clinton A Conspiracy In Progress?

Barack Obama’s residency in the White House is coming to a close. There has been, what seems like a heated build up to the next election, and now the Democratic nomination for the 2016 presidency has been decided; Hillary Clinton. And the Republican nominee? Um, Trump?

Enough Chit-Chat. What’s the conspiracy?

Basically, all along, Hillary Clinton has secretly been chosen as the candidate to become the next president. Right from the start, she has been selected (before any cheese-steak stained fingers even voted), events have been carefully massaged to allow this path to be taken. The illusion of choice has been offered to the American public. Let’s have a look at some of the evidence:

  • That whole email thing. Deleting her emails, using private servers, all the hooplah. At the very least, it’s fishy. Even this couldn’t derail the train. To be fair, that’s pretty impressive. Well done Illuminati (more on that later)
  • The lack of Democratic debatesThere have been millions of Republic debates. You could argue it’s Trump’s doing, getting his brand out there and getting free advertising because of it. However, it’s quite obvious that the Democratic debates have been fewer and much less accessible. They were aired at weird times too, times where people wouldn’t watch. The thinking behind this is that there were a few level-headed Dems in the group, and the less exposure to them the better, because then the more recognisable Hillary Clinton would be a “natural choice”. Where actually, the public just never got enough time to look at the other candidates before the nominee was chosen.
  • The Trump factor. I think everyone is pretty much in agreement. Donald Trump is a super charismatic guy. He is a good businessman. He has funny hair and totally doesn’t like Mexicans. And another thing most people agree on is this: He has been entertaining in the presidency build up, but would make a rubbish president. And yet, he is leading the polls. He has led the polls pretty much from the start for the Republicans. This does fuel the conspiracy. Effectively, Trump has taken the Republicans out of the running for the next president, because he is in front, but not president material. Hillary it is then.

Who’s doing it?

Well, the Illuminati, obvs. If they do exist (they do), and if they actually do have the power to manipulate situations like this, what’s the goal of doing it? It might be for some sort of financial gain. Or it may even be just to control things. I bet they really love the sneaking around, the secret cloak and dagger meetings, spending the nights licking their collective grubby little fingers that they’ve thrust into our unsuspecting pies. Shame on them! I like my pies unfingered, thank you very much.

Well, first woman president after the first black president. Pretty good on diversity. I assume the next one is going to be an alien from the planet “America”, so technically it gets around the tricky “American Citizen” rule. Alien for 2020!