How Australia is doing cricket wrong
03-Feb-2016

Posted by in Skinny Cardio (Lighthearted), writing

You may be wondering how the best team in the world can be “doing” cricket wrong. Well, that’s handy. This post is written with the exact purpose of telling you how Australia is doing cricket wrong. That’s some coincidence. Read on past the break for the answers.

How Australia is doing cricket wrong

How Australia is doing cricket wrong

How Australia is doing cricket wrong

Ok, I’ll come clean. Technically, “Australia” as a team aren’t doing cricket wrong. However, Australia as a nation, definitely wrong. So let’s get straight to the point, what exactly is wrong? The answer lies in the way they speak.

You’re gonna say “Well I could have told you that”, but hold your horses, Gary. I am not talking about their accents. I happen to like some of the Australian accents, in short doses. I am talking about how they say the score in a game of cricket. They do it wrong, the rest of the cricket-playing world are doing it right. Silly Australians, I guess being upside down for so long has rubbed off on their speaking skills.

The Rest Of The World

When a side is batting, the rest of the world will give the score in the following format: RUNS for WICKETS. When a bowler’s stats are read out, it is displayed thusly: WICKETS for RUNS.

The reason this makes sense is because when you’re talking about a bowler, his job is to take wickets, so we say the wickets first. When a team is batting, the job of the team is to score runs, therefore we say runs first. Makes sense. After a batting team has finished their innings (bowled out, total overs, declared, etc), the wickets that fell aren’t all that important. You don’t get extra points for losing zero wickets compared to losing 10. What counts is the runs.

So what does Australia do then?

Bowlers, they say it correctly. WICKETS for RUNS. The problem is when they say a batting scorecard. They say it the same way they do for bowlers, WICKETS for RUNS. As you might have noticed from the last section, that is incorrect. Runs are the most important part of a batting scorecard and should be said first.

Now, does this really matter? Well, it matters enough to write a post about it, but not enough to cause a riot. Unless you’re keen? I haven’t had a good riot in a while. Anyway, I digress. If you have Australian friends, show off your cricket knowledge by shouting at them for this. And if they argue, remind them of who won the last Ashes (let’s just remember I wrote this in 2016, Jan. It might be AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI ALL the way to the next century from here). For now though, that is how Australia is doing cricket wrong.